So? My EX has been with Ms.Unhappy now for a little over two years. When it started out she was loving and kind with Crazy#1 and Crazy#2. She was fun to be around and there were times I was jealous and wished that I could be the fun one instead of the disciplinarian all the time.
Now, before I begin my venting let me say that from the very first day I met Ms.Unhappy, I have been respectful. Kind. Warm and welcoming . She was a HUGE step up from the last girlfriend my EX had….or so it seemed. As many times as she has been rude and disrespectful I have said nothing. I have said nothing out of respect for my EX. To keep the peace between he and I. To be the better person in this. And because I cannot ask or expect my sons to be respectful if I am not in return. So, rather than stoop to her level I am going to vent here today. (I apologize to my one fan !)
Fast forward to present day. It’s like her shelf date expired and she has turned bad….VERY bad! She talks to Crazy#1 and Crazy #2 like they are less than her. As if them simply existing is a personal insult to her. Now Ms.Unhappy doesn’t work. From what I gather Mommy and Daddy pay for whatever she wants. Which..whatever. Good for you…i guess. She does, however, take art classes that are SUPER stressful!( Or so my EX likes to blame her attitude and behavior on) So? I can hardly expect her to treat my sons with any kind of decency under such enormous stress as that. Or to even treat them like actual human beings…right?
Crazy#1 and Crazy#2 come home after three days there last week and informed me that Ms.Unhappy has made a schedule for them. Complete with daily workbooks…bedtime by 10 …up by 7…breakfast at this time….lunch…chores….Enough said, you get the picture, right? I am not against schedules. I am not against chores or bedtimes. But this is summer vacation. They don’t have to be at school in the morning. They don’t have homework. It’s not like Ms. Unhappy has to DO anything but have fun with them. She doesn’t have to get up at 6:00…pack lunches. Get them all off to school….pick up….homework…sports…dinner…showers..laundry……No! My husband and I do all the work and they get to be the Disneyland parents. How much easier could that be? (Now….before I get any further….let me say right here…I have NO….NONE…NADA….issue with a person’s weight…UNLESS….you are the 275lb., 26 year old making my sons feel like second class citizens!! Not like I’m some fabulous size 4 or anything either. So PLEASE….no hate mail. OKAY??) Ms. Unhappy is a control freak. Not the good kind of control freak who cleans and organizes and hosts PTA parties, boyscout meetings and pleasure parties partylite parties all on the same night but rather the “It’s my world and you simply exist in it” control freak. The” You will ALL do what I want. When I want . So I don’t actually have to do anything. That kind of control freak. Amongst the strict schedule she has created ,Crazy #1 and Crazy #2 are upset with how rude she is to them AND their dad.
And just in case you read yesterday’s blog ( I think I may have one FOLLOWER) yes! This is the same Ms.Unhappy whose presence we were cursed blessed with while camping this past weekend. So? I have made a list of a few tips and rules for Ms.Unhappy…..
1.) While Crazy #1 or Crazy #2 are on the phone talking to ME ….MIGHT be a good time for you to shut your pie-hole as you’re REALLY not as quiet and soft spoken as you have yourself convinced you are.
2.) When you find out FOR SURE that Crazy#1 IS in fact on the phone with ME, you might THEN want to shut your pie-hole.
3.) When you come into MY home…try to muster a smile and a hello before plopping your huge ass in MY chair at MY kitchen table. Turning your back to me , ignoring me and being a total wench? Not cool Ms.Unhappy. Not cool at all.
4.) When you go camping? Is is usually a nice thing to…oh, I don’t know. Get off your ass for at least a minute during the weekend and offer to help out with something…..ANYTHING!
5.) Forcing Crazy #1 and Crazy #2 to eat things that their dad as well as myself have clearly told you they hate and as their PARENTS have made the choice not to make a big deal of……NOT VERY BRIGHT! Could POSSIBLY explain why every meal with them is turning into a shoot out at the OK corral. Hate to state the obvious Ms.Unhappy but you are really in for a long summer.
6.) Constantly lecturing Crazy#1 and Crazy #2 on diet and nutrition when you are pushing at least 275lbs. yourself, never do anything close to resembling exercise and brag about how you “can easily tear through a 6 pack of Pepsi a day”! Hmm…perhaps not the route I would have taken with them!
8.) Emasculating my sons dad in front of everyone on a constant and regular basis? I can assure you my sons don’t appreciate it OR find it funny! Nor does anyone else for that matter!
9.) Monitoring Crazy #1 ‘s phone calls and text messages to and from me…. HIS MOM…not your business or your place considering I bought the phone and also pay for his service!!
10.) Perhaps you should try walking your own yappy rat dogs…I think the fresh air and exercise would do wonders for your less than pleasant attitude.
11.) When in my presence, you might want to pretend to be a kind and decent person rather than to just reaffirm the reasons my sons can’t stand you! I can keep telling my sons to be respectful towards you but I can promise you that, like me, even THEY have their breaking point!
12.) Stop sending me parenting emails as if you have the slightest clue on what being a mom is all about. First of all you have to be SELFLESS not SELFISH… you may want to rethink the whole idea of my EX having his vasectomy reversed after that newsflash!
13.) Don’t make comments about your and my EX’s sex life in front of me.Behind me. Around me. Or anywhere I can hear you…it’s just gross and childish.
14.) When I call Crazy#1 and Crazy#2 because I miss them don’t say things like,” It’s ONLY been three days! How can she miss you already?”….it just makes you sound and look stupid to them!
15.) Stop complaining ( to the boys) about the four shirts you have HAD to buy them over the past two years. You DO realize that when you have your own kids you will actually have to buy them pants , socks, shoes and maybe even a jacket??? Just checking.
16.) Know that when you are calling me every name in the book on a pretty regular basis ( in front of my sons) that it will get back to me .Every. Single .Time. You only have the boys on average ..six nights a month. I recommend you keep your comments to yourself for those few days. That will leave you AT LEAST a good 22-26 days of the month to talk crap about me!
17.) Blaming your period for your shitty moods and your behavior towards EVERYONE?? Really? Pop some Pamprin and get on with life!