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Eyes closed June 7, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — haveuseenmysanity @ 9:15pm06

 True story.

I think…NO ….I am SURE that I changed at least three diapers with my eyes closed lastnight. Do any of you wear contacts? If you do then you know that feeling when you first wake up and your eyes are so dry that if you were to open your eyes all the way your contacts would pop right out. So rather than spend hours hunting around on the carpet for my contact I decided that working with my eyes closed would make more sense.

That is until I woke up this morning and discovered how VERY wrong things can go when done with your eyes  closed.  The dirty diapers never actually made it IN the garbage can but more behind and in front of the garbage can.  And what was up with the baby wipes on the floor? Did I even actually wipe Crazy #5’s butt or just thought I did?? Upon further investigation the baby wipes on the floor were clean and so was Crazy #5’s butt. So I guess however I did it, it worked.

And last but certainly not least….my boobs? Yeah. Not even put back into their rightful place. Nope. Left hanging out of the tank top after the zillionth feeding of a sleepless night.Woke up to a wet side of the bed and that sticky feeling that only comes with breast milk. Good times.

 On the upside, I did get a “How YOU doing?” from the husband who ( for some reason) thought the boobs hanging out of the top was the sexiest thing ever! REALLY??? SO…all in all? I guess I totally have this new baby thing down!!!


Grateful June 2, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — haveuseenmysanity @ 9:15pm06

Crazy #5 was due to come by C-section on June 5th. However, he had ideas of his own . I went into labor on May 20th. And at 10:06pm Crazy #5 came into our world; weighing a whopping 5lbs 13 ozs.

I was terrifed this time around. Not of the needles. Not of the doctors or the nurses in their plastic-guard masks. Not even of the painful recovery that I knew was ahead of me. I was terrifed, still, to allow myself to believe I would get to bring this little guy home. Ever since Ethan passed away….well. I lost a part of my heart. My soul. I’ve never been the same since he died. And no matter how many times people around me talked about ” when he comes home” and ” just wait until you hold him”.I just couldn’t and wouldn’t allow myself to believe it.

He DID come home though. I am so in love with him. I look at him and I feel so amazingly blessed. Life is so fragile. And until Ethan died…I took alot of things for granted. Took my husband for granted. Took my sons for granted. Took everything I had for granted. Now? I am just grateful. Grateful to have this little guy home. I have felt Ethan so much this past week and a half. Felt him as I hold his little brother. As I rock and whisper to him. I know he is here. And I am grateful to feel him here with me. Grateful. SO very grateful! 







Crazy#3 and Crazy #5


Crazy #2 and Crazy #5


Heading home from the hospital!!


In bed cuddling


Auntie had a little fun with all his hair!