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Hoppy Easter and all that jazz!! April 29, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — haveuseenmysanity @ 9:15pm04

Easter was amazing!

Really amazing!

No drama with the MIL. No uncomfortable silences as we all try to completely ignore the HUGE elephant in the room! It was seriously and honestly the most calm and peaceful holiday our family has had in almost 7 years!

We usually get up. MAD dash through a quick and less than awesome breakfast. We then spend the next hour screaming and yelling at all the Crazies to hurry up and get dressed and ready!

“Did you brush your teeth?”  NO? Seriously? I’ve only been reminding you about this very needed daily task for…15 YEARS!!!!

” NO! You CANNOT wear jeans with holes in them today! IT’S A HOLIDAY DAMN IT AND WE WILL LOOK NICE AND SMILE!”

Then we all pack into the car ….everyone angry and completely irritated.

We drive to our first obligatory stop.

See…..holidays always suck in my eyes because my family doesn’t live nearby. They live in Idaho and other far, far away lands. So every holiday, birthday,anniversary….EVERY EVERYTHING…..is spent with my in laws. Not that I hate ALL of them or even dislike ALL of them. I sincerely have alot of love for almost ALL of the hubs family. But there are a couple that…..I just have had enough of. One of which happens to be my very meddlesome, intrusive and disrespectful MIL. AWKWARD!!! Holidays are tough. We all  spend the day running to hell and back trying to make sure , GOD FORBID, we don’t miss anyone or fail to do what they want us to do on these holidays! And all the while I am so desperately missing my own family! NOT that my hubs family isn’t my family too but you know how it is? When you are with your own parents…they get you. They understand that you answering the door on Christmas day in jammies and slippers? Just the norm! They understand that when you offer them a strong drink at 9:00 am? It’s just the family norm! My family just gets me! And they even love me in spite of myself! My in laws? SOME love me in spite of myself. Others like the whole…kick you when your down method of things.

Got off subject….sorry.

The point is. This was the best holiday ever!

It was Crazy #5’s 1st Easter.

Mr. Easter Bunny got up at 6:00am and hid 60 candy filled eggs in our yard.

A dear family friend showed up with all kinds of awesome, yummy goodness. Easter baskets. Doughnuts. Apple turnovers. Just a whole huge pile of yum!

The kids went outside and hunted for eggs in the pouring rain and it was AMAZING! SO AMAZING!

We came in and had breakfast. When WE wanted to! Food WE wanted!

And then…wait for it……the hubs and I actually sat down together and watched a movie when the two wee ones napped and the older ones hung out together! We literally sat in our jammies and watched an entire movie!!!!

And then we got our lazy asses off the couch( when WE wanted to) and got dressed and went to his dad’s house for dinner.

Ok….so we didn’t do anything super amazing or exciting.

But just being together!

Being able to do what we wanted with our kids?

Being able to sit and watch our kids actually enjoy a holiday?

Not rushing to three or four different places. Trying to please everyone and in the end everyone still not being happy? Least of all….US and our children?

Got me to thinking.

Why do holidays always have to be so crazy?

Why can’t we all just speak the truth and say…NO! Running to four different places on Thanksgiving. Christmas. Easter. Mother’s Day. Father’s Day. Really and trully does not sound like something I want to do! Why when we get married is there always one side who never ever see’s their family and one side that gets to control and manipulate every single holiday and important event in our lives?

This Easter I said NO!

HELL TO THE NO!

And you know what?

It was the best holiday ever!

Calm and peace.

That is what I am striving to have in my life this year!

I am stepping on toes along the way but honestly?

I really don’t care!

I want my kids to enjoy their holidays.

I want them to look back and have happy memories.

So if that means mommy has to step up and say HELL NO?

I am completely fine with that!

So Hoppy Easter ( a little late) to you all!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

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The green stuff that comes out of moms mouth.. April 22, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — haveuseenmysanity @ 9:15pm04

The other day the hubs and I helped a good family friend move her furniture into storage.

We were left at the mercy of  Crazy #1 and Crazy#2 to watch Crazy #3 and Crazy#5 for the afternoon while we moved.

Before we left the hubs and I covered LITERALLY about every possible scenario. For instance….”What do you do if  Crazy#3 decides to snack on dish detergent ?” Crazy #1 and Crazy #2 both give the correct answer that they would call poison control immediately and then us so we could break a million traffic laws to get home.

We went over them not answering the door for ANYONE as we have had some really creepy telemarketers around our neighborhood lately. BTW….if you are going to come to my door and ask me to donate to your cause. If you are going to spin me some stupid sob story about growing up in the ghetto and how you desperately want to go to school. Yada, yada, yada. DO NOT come to my door reeking of weed and liquor! Seriously! I will totally buy your story if you are clean cut and not slurring your words…why? Because I am a total sucker for helping people that come to my door!

SO…the hubs and I seriously cover every emergency situation/solution. Go over every possible emergency number. And we leave.

We come back later and everything seems to have gone just perfect! By perfect , I mean the kids are all alive. The house is still standing. No one is bleeding or on fire. Hubs and I immediately realize that our kids rock and we are blessed!

….

….

….and then two days later….

The hubs comes in the kitchen and asks,” Hey? Were the boys out shooting their BB guns today?”

I say,” Uh, no. Not today. Not this week . WHY?” 

He says,” There are BB’s everywhere! There are BB’s on  Crazy#5’s walker!”

He goes in to talk to Crazy #1.

I call Crazy #2 down to grill him.

Like our whole devide and conquer thing?

Yeah! We do this because inevitably we will each get a different version of the story. Than we will bring both the offenders into the same room and perform the interrogation on them at the same time. You know. To see if their alibi’s hold up or not!

The hubs comes back and says that Crazy #1 and Crazy #2 decided that it would be a GREAT idea to shoot their guns on Sunday while they were supposed to be watching Crazy #3 and Crazy #5.

Now…our house rule has ALWAYS been the same. There are no shooting BB guns OR airsoft guns in the backyard unless there is a parent at home. Kind of common sense, wouldn’t you think?

I begin to jam them up about how irresponsible they were.

“You guys know better than to shoot your guns when we are not home!”

“You were supposed to be watching the little ones which means actually WATCHING them!”

” What were the two little ones doing while you were shooting guns? In the house by themselves? “

“What if they had gotten hurt? You wouldn’t have even heard them!!!”

I am already angry !!!!

And then….as sweet and innocently and firm as can be, Crazy #2 says….

” MOM! We didn’t LEAVE them in the house alone! We brought them outside with us!”

This is where, swear to God, green shit comes out of my mouth.

I look at Crazy #2 and say,” So, you mean to tell me that you and your brother thought it was a good idea to shoot your guns in the backyard with the two little ones out here ?”

All I get is a blank stare. As if he is finally processing the error in his words. I can almost hear the words running through his head….SHIT! SHIT! SHHHHIITTTTT!!!

Needless to say, both Crazy#1 and Crazy #2 have lost their guns indefinately. And I don’t think we will be trusting them to babysit for quite awhile.