The other day the hubs and I helped a good family friend move her furniture into storage.
We were left at the mercy of Crazy #1 and Crazy#2 to watch Crazy #3 and Crazy#5 for the afternoon while we moved.
Before we left the hubs and I covered LITERALLY about every possible scenario. For instance….”What do you do if Crazy#3 decides to snack on dish detergent ?” Crazy #1 and Crazy #2 both give the correct answer that they would call poison control immediately and then us so we could break a million traffic laws to get home.
We went over them not answering the door for ANYONE as we have had some really creepy telemarketers around our neighborhood lately. BTW….if you are going to come to my door and ask me to donate to your cause. If you are going to spin me some stupid sob story about growing up in the ghetto and how you desperately want to go to school. Yada, yada, yada. DO NOT come to my door reeking of weed and liquor! Seriously! I will totally buy your story if you are clean cut and not slurring your words…why? Because I am a total sucker for helping people that come to my door!
SO…the hubs and I seriously cover every emergency situation/solution. Go over every possible emergency number. And we leave.
We come back later and everything seems to have gone just perfect! By perfect , I mean the kids are all alive. The house is still standing. No one is bleeding or on fire. Hubs and I immediately realize that our kids rock and we are blessed!
….and then two days later….
The hubs comes in the kitchen and asks,” Hey? Were the boys out shooting their BB guns today?”
I say,” Uh, no. Not today. Not this week . WHY?”
He says,” There are BB’s everywhere! There are BB’s on Crazy#5’s walker!”
He goes in to talk to Crazy #1.
I call Crazy #2 down to grill him.
Like our whole devide and conquer thing?
Yeah! We do this because inevitably we will each get a different version of the story. Than we will bring both the offenders into the same room and perform the interrogation on them at the same time. You know. To see if their alibi’s hold up or not!
The hubs comes back and says that Crazy #1 and Crazy #2 decided that it would be a GREAT idea to shoot their guns on Sunday while they were supposed to be watching Crazy #3 and Crazy #5.
Now…our house rule has ALWAYS been the same. There are no shooting BB guns OR airsoft guns in the backyard unless there is a parent at home. Kind of common sense, wouldn’t you think?
I begin to jam them up about how irresponsible they were.
“You guys know better than to shoot your guns when we are not home!”
“You were supposed to be watching the little ones which means actually WATCHING them!”
” What were the two little ones doing while you were shooting guns? In the house by themselves? “
“What if they had gotten hurt? You wouldn’t have even heard them!!!”
I am already angry !!!!
And then….as sweet and innocently and firm as can be, Crazy #2 says….
” MOM! We didn’t LEAVE them in the house alone! We brought them outside with us!”
This is where, swear to God, green shit comes out of my mouth.
I look at Crazy #2 and say,” So, you mean to tell me that you and your brother thought it was a good idea to shoot your guns in the backyard with the two little ones out here ?”
All I get is a blank stare. As if he is finally processing the error in his words. I can almost hear the words running through his head….SHIT! SHIT! SHHHHIITTTTT!!!
Needless to say, both Crazy#1 and Crazy #2 have lost their guns indefinately. And I don’t think we will be trusting them to babysit for quite awhile.