So? I have written and re-written this paragraph about a million times. How do you sum up a life in a paragraph?
Here it is folks….Moved out at 17. Married at 18. Had my first son, Crazy#1, when I was 19. Had my second son, Crazy#2, when I was 22. Filed for divorce on my birthday when I was 24. My ex and I were not good together. He and I have remained friends but we just made each other ..well…CRAZY!
I was a single mom for almost 7 years. And then on a beautiful beach in Maui I married my true love and best friend. ( Cliche? Don’t care!)
We found out five days before we left to get married that we were expecting Crazy#3. Seven months after Crazy #3 was born we found out we were expecting Crazy#4. And then……
Crazy #4 passed away on July 14, 2008.
This has shattered me. Left me angry and broken. When you have three healthy sons, people tend to treat you as if you have no right to mourn a fourth. My husband and I want a big family. It is choice we made. And Crazy #4 was and is forever a part of our family. He is not a number to us but a piece of our heart. I have been struggling to pick up the pieces of my heart. Struggling to grieve , for the most part, in private.
My blog is a …whatever blog. Whatever I feel that day is what your going to get. It may be calm and peaceful one day and it may be me spewing the next. So? If you offend easily…you may not want to read my blog .
I am many things. I am soft. I am loving. I am fierce. I am strong. I am hurt. I am angry. I am a wife.I am a mom to three living sons and one angelbaby. I am a sister. A daughter. A friend.One thing I am NOT is perfect. I find that each day I learn and grow as a person. I make mistakes and I learn from them.
I am not going to write what you want but what I feel. I guess you could all say I am a work in progress ( as is my blog so be patient with me please!)…..